This Friday is Sebadoh Day. Hooray!
Friday, July 22, 2005
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
The Smear Campaign Begins!
I just received this email in my personal email box:
When will the smears, lies and tacticts end?
Mr. Rove says he first heard that the Torch Marauder was Dave Bjorkback from the "media (Trianglerock.com)." Novak confirms that Rove was his second source on the TM.
How high does this go?
To whom it may concern at the Tropic of Stupid or whatever:I don't appreciate you attempting to drag my good name through the mud.Your quote is not only out of context, it is complete bunk. I never named anybody.I merely mentioned that Sandy Bjorkback's husband might be the torch marauder.Mr. K. "you'll never pin anything on my ass" Rove
When will the smears, lies and tacticts end?
Mr. Rove says he first heard that the Torch Marauder was Dave Bjorkback from the "media (Trianglerock.com)." Novak confirms that Rove was his second source on the TM.
How high does this go?
ghost stories
ghost stories are the perfect thing to read on thunderstormy nights when dudes who are all about school prayer get nominated to the supreme court.* not that we'll necessarily have another night like that anytime soon, but here are some ghost story recommendations anyway.
--
* hey, do you law student types have any insights on this boringly-named guy?
also, i apologize for airing my political views on your blog!
--
* hey, do you law student types have any insights on this boringly-named guy?
also, i apologize for airing my political views on your blog!
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
NEWS FLASH
This just in off the AP News Wire:
Kentuckians eat junk food and are lazy. Will all die soon.
When will we stop being crushed by the onslaught of lies and distortions by the liberal media? I fully expect a long report on the mendacity of this whining bunch from B Martin Spiker by the end of the week.
Kentuckians eat junk food and are lazy. Will all die soon.
When will we stop being crushed by the onslaught of lies and distortions by the liberal media? I fully expect a long report on the mendacity of this whining bunch from B Martin Spiker by the end of the week.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Two New Babies
Please get to know one or both of the following:
The Wusses
Warmer Milks
One is a mellow ship of mellow dudes coasting across the seas of softness and the other is a mellow ship of mellow dudes coasting across the seas of softness--but only one of them draws skulls in ball point pen on their hands. Can you tell which?
The Wusses
Warmer Milks
One is a mellow ship of mellow dudes coasting across the seas of softness and the other is a mellow ship of mellow dudes coasting across the seas of softness--but only one of them draws skulls in ball point pen on their hands. Can you tell which?
Thursday, July 14, 2005
MORE STINGEWELL (w/special guests "the" nines)
Gaze upon this glorious image, which appears by demand. Another sighting of the world-famous Sir Stingewell (far right), who, flanked by his entourage (which includes musical group "The" Neen as well as one Donald T. Cooper [far left; resident of the population group "Canada"]), basks gloriously after narrowly escaping arrest by the Shaker Heights, OH, police department the previous evening. It seems that Mr. Stingewell decided to take a post-fireworks dip in a public pool on the evening of July 4th, and, once again with entourage in tow (minus one Casey G. Burns [2nd from left]), was confronted by an extremely bored group of "law" enforcement specialists. Once Stingewell's identity was confirmed, the group was let go with an ominous warning: "Don't mistake our kindness for weakness...tell all your friends we don't mess around in Shaker Heights."
9([{!!!}])9
This photo was taken by Stingewell's Aunt Jenny (from the block), who subsidized this particular evening's festivities (all those except for the very expensive and subsequently depressing ones that took place at the gentleman's club "Tally Ho"*.)
*emphasis on the "Ho".
BBQ
ATTENTIONS!
Sunday July 17
Erie Choir 8pm
Can Joann 9:15pm
Schooner 10:15pm
Local 506
FREE ADMISSION
FREE BBQ SANDWICHES
FREE MUSIC
FREEDOM
This is the first in a continuing(?) series of live local music shows sponsored by WXYC. All will be free. Some might feature food or records.
Erie Choir is first and will play music and be interviewed.
Craziness? Yes.
Free Summer fun for a life of no job, no money, no problems? Yes.
Sunday July 17
Erie Choir 8pm
Can Joann 9:15pm
Schooner 10:15pm
Local 506
FREE ADMISSION
FREE BBQ SANDWICHES
FREE MUSIC
FREEDOM
This is the first in a continuing(?) series of live local music shows sponsored by WXYC. All will be free. Some might feature food or records.
Erie Choir is first and will play music and be interviewed.
Craziness? Yes.
Free Summer fun for a life of no job, no money, no problems? Yes.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
The Still Beat
Ladies--
Preferred Tropic of Food friend J. Harlan has a website with nothing on it yet. But there is a link to his myspace with some music. If you don't now, Harlan is a dear friend of AP and once let the Nein sleep at his house.
More to come from the man I predict will be huge in 2007.
Preferred Tropic of Food friend J. Harlan has a website with nothing on it yet. But there is a link to his myspace with some music. If you don't now, Harlan is a dear friend of AP and once let the Nein sleep at his house.
More to come from the man I predict will be huge in 2007.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Friday, July 08, 2005
Thursday, July 07, 2005
The Nein dines with Stingewell's relatives--hilarity ensues
After being turned away at the border of our benefactorish country (Canada), The Nein decided instead to visit Aunt Jenny in Rochester, NY. The results were fruitful. Hotel suites, Thai food, and an exclusive screening of the massively redundant "War of the Worlds" (aka "Tom Cruise and Tim Robbins Take A Career Nose-Dive Face First Into a Steaming Pile of Cliches....Especially Tim Robbins--I Mean, Come On, What the Fuck Was HE THINKING When He Signed On For That Shit? Did Steven Spielberg Offer a Really Good Hummer (and not the kind you drive, wink wink nudge nudge saynomoresaynomore)?").
Friday, July 01, 2005
O'Connor Retires
Bush nominates Anne Gomez as replacement to "highest" court.
Ms. Gomez, in an undated photo, with her law clerk.
Ms. Gomez, in an undated photo, with her law clerk.
Supreme Court Refuses to Hear the Nein
In a shoking decision, the US Supreme Court has refused to hear the Nein on their upcoming East Coast tour. Though the Court gave no indication as to why they refused certiori, word on the street is they are saving up their money to see Good Charlotte when they role through.
Here are the Nein's dates--can there be justice?
sun jul 10 baltimore md ottobar bardo pond • the new flesh
fri jul 8 brooklyn ny the palace vaz • war slut • proton proton
thu jul 7 new york ny knitting fact. the close
wed jul 6 boston ma middle east big bear • tiny amps
tue jul 5 hamilton on the casbah
sun jul 3 pitts. pa garfield artworks the weather channel
sat jul 2 phil. pa the manhattan room the writing birds
fri jul 1 washington dc warehouse next door french toast • verbal
Here are the Nein's dates--can there be justice?
sun jul 10 baltimore md ottobar bardo pond • the new flesh
fri jul 8 brooklyn ny the palace vaz • war slut • proton proton
thu jul 7 new york ny knitting fact. the close
wed jul 6 boston ma middle east big bear • tiny amps
tue jul 5 hamilton on the casbah
sun jul 3 pitts. pa garfield artworks the weather channel
sat jul 2 phil. pa the manhattan room the writing birds
fri jul 1 washington dc warehouse next door french toast • verbal
Friday, June 24, 2005
Take Some Bowling Pins Bowling
>pin projekt auction>saturday, 25 june, 8pm>ooh la latte>durham, nc>>there will be an auction on saturday night at ooh la latte in durham to>help raise money for the troika music festival (formerly the durham music>festival).>>billy sugarfix and the torch marauder will act as auctioneers.>>regina hexaphone, erie choir, and the pox family singers will provide some>music.>>on the auction block will be 16 or so bowling pins that 16 or so artists>from around the triangle worked some magic on.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Personals
Steely Man
WM iso Significant Lady to trade "solos" with. Must like Hagel, telecommunications and G#m75bdim9. Turn offs: Bell, Biv AND Devoe. Turn ons: L. Tresvant. I'm a Marshall stack just waiting for you to attenuate my signal. Call Now!
420 Types of Love
Really WM iso special woman to craft gravity bong of love with. Must be interested in long term caddy position--you really have to enjoy carrying my bag, club and balls. Let's get caught in a sand trap together! (Must be willing to do some diving to retreive balls from water hazards--I need them!)
Bigg Man on Campus
ISO significant skanks into usage, meta-making-out and popped collars. Turns on: yachts (your fathers), laundry (mine) and watching you mow the part of the yard that I'm responsible for. Or: DFW fn iso ttl H002 2 m8k lief COMPLETED! Turn up my delay time and I will patch your cables. Holla!
Religious Honey
BLING!
DeFINNative Lover
Flip-flop wearing, Lobster hat owning rapper ISO lady to cut beatz with me. Must be a monster on the Ones and Twos, know about the Wheels of Steel and appreciate ART! Dre and Pherell hang at my pad alot, so all ladies must be patient and cool with "stuff." Billy Ocean record Collection a must!
Don't Passover Me
Bookish, librarian type SWF looking for Bookish, librarian type boy who likes books/libraries. Let's get lost in the stacks. Must be able to read and like being read to. Enjoys: Harry Potter; No Enjoys: Hairy Potters (No Hippies!) . Own shelves a plus, Amazon credit account a big plus, David Mitchell Look-a-like the biggest plus. Also, books, books, books, books. Whew!
SAD We Haven't Met Yet
Older WM looking for speical lady to ride out the final, slow years of my life with. Must like late (4pm) dinners, talking about soccer, and freestyle rapping (my own). I have some songs I've written, let me pretend they are about you, or you can pretened, it's your own damn life. My back hurts--help me carry my amp to and from shows and give me rides to the grocery store.
Joker's Wild!
Boyish--in looks and maturity--WM trying to find woman with good (untiring) sense of humor. Must find everything funny and have little to no desire to ever take anything seriously. If you find yourself thinking all the guys you date are to sincere, open, honest, up front, and not-totatlly-aloof-and-self-centered, give me a call. I might call you back. I might even answer the phone. Turn ons: movie stars in movies; turn offs: people in real life. Why the hell not!
WM iso Significant Lady to trade "solos" with. Must like Hagel, telecommunications and G#m75bdim9. Turn offs: Bell, Biv AND Devoe. Turn ons: L. Tresvant. I'm a Marshall stack just waiting for you to attenuate my signal. Call Now!
420 Types of Love
Really WM iso special woman to craft gravity bong of love with. Must be interested in long term caddy position--you really have to enjoy carrying my bag, club and balls. Let's get caught in a sand trap together! (Must be willing to do some diving to retreive balls from water hazards--I need them!)
Bigg Man on Campus
ISO significant skanks into usage, meta-making-out and popped collars. Turns on: yachts (your fathers), laundry (mine) and watching you mow the part of the yard that I'm responsible for. Or: DFW fn iso ttl H002 2 m8k lief COMPLETED! Turn up my delay time and I will patch your cables. Holla!
Religious Honey
BLING!
DeFINNative Lover
Flip-flop wearing, Lobster hat owning rapper ISO lady to cut beatz with me. Must be a monster on the Ones and Twos, know about the Wheels of Steel and appreciate ART! Dre and Pherell hang at my pad alot, so all ladies must be patient and cool with "stuff." Billy Ocean record Collection a must!
Don't Passover Me
Bookish, librarian type SWF looking for Bookish, librarian type boy who likes books/libraries. Let's get lost in the stacks. Must be able to read and like being read to. Enjoys: Harry Potter; No Enjoys: Hairy Potters (No Hippies!) . Own shelves a plus, Amazon credit account a big plus, David Mitchell Look-a-like the biggest plus. Also, books, books, books, books. Whew!
SAD We Haven't Met Yet
Older WM looking for speical lady to ride out the final, slow years of my life with. Must like late (4pm) dinners, talking about soccer, and freestyle rapping (my own). I have some songs I've written, let me pretend they are about you, or you can pretened, it's your own damn life. My back hurts--help me carry my amp to and from shows and give me rides to the grocery store.
Joker's Wild!
Boyish--in looks and maturity--WM trying to find woman with good (untiring) sense of humor. Must find everything funny and have little to no desire to ever take anything seriously. If you find yourself thinking all the guys you date are to sincere, open, honest, up front, and not-totatlly-aloof-and-self-centered, give me a call. I might call you back. I might even answer the phone. Turn ons: movie stars in movies; turn offs: people in real life. Why the hell not!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
The Misunderstanding
Husband: (Glancing up from a THANK YOU card) Honey, was it your Uncle Jacob who gave me the blender for my birthday?
Wife: (Looking at HUSBAND from the couch) It was a smoothie maker, dear.
Husband: Oh, right. (Looking back down) Smoothie.
Wife: (Tentatively) And--
Husband: What?
Wife: I'm sorry. I feel a little embarrassed about this, but his name is Charles.
Husband: Uncle Jacob?
Wife: Is Uncle Charles.
Husband: Charles Jacob?
Wife: No.
Husband: Jacob Charles?
Wife: No.
Husband: (Hand to forehead, perplexed) Wow. I feel like a real fool. I've been calling him the wrong name for eight--.
Wife: Six.
Husband: --years. No-one said anything.
Wife: I just didn't have the heart to correct you the first time you did it. It was Christmas--
Husband: Easter.
Wife: --and everyone was around and I didn't want to make you look like a fool. You were so nervous around the new family that first Christmas.
Husband: Easter.
Wife: After that there just wasn't a good time really to do it. I am sorry I never said anything.
Husband: Oh, you don't have to apologize. I'm the goof here. It's just that you have so many uncles --
Wife: Actually--I only have one. Uncle Louis.
Husband: But, Uncle Jacob?
Wife: Is second Cousin Charles.
Husband: Second cousin?
Wife: By marriage.
Husband: Second cousin by marriage? Is that even a real legal status?
Wife: I don't know. You can look it up tomorrow at the office.
Husband: The office? Oh, right. Well, actually--
Wife: What? Doesn't the firm have a Black's Law Dictionary or something?
Husband: I don't work at a law firm. I'm not a lawyer. I know you think that and really it was easier than trying to explain exactly what I do. You know the nuanced differences.
Wife: What do you do?
Husband: I service the Wiggler at the amusement park.
Wife: Oh.
Husband: Sorry. (Turns back to THANK YOU note)
Wife: You still had a fun birthday though, right?
Husband: Well--
Wife: (With disappointment) I didn't think you would want to spend it with my family.
Husband: No, it isn't that. I love your family. It's just that my birthday is not in August. It's April. April 4th.
Wife: Oh?
Husband: You got me that great stereo--
Wife: VCR
Husband: --when we first started dating and I didn't have the heart to tell you that my birthday was four months--
Wife: Eight.
Husband: --away. I'm sorry. (Rising to embrace her on the couch) I shouldn't have let it go so long.
Wife: No, no. It's fine. We've all done those sorts of things.
Husband: Right. The important thing is we have a blender--
Wife: Smoothie maker.
Husband: --that we can use to make our own baby food once the baby comes.
Wife: Oh, about that.
Husband: What is it?
Wife: I'm not--oh this is a little embarrassing--I'm not pregnant.
Husband: (Putting hand on her stomach) Oh, but--
Wife: Yeah. I have an eighteen year old son from a previous marriage. (Lifts maternity dress to reveal full-grown eighteen year old male clinging around waist, listening to walkman. He is covered in acne and frowns disapprovingly at HUSBAND)
Husband: Oh, wow. I never noticed him before. I don't know what to say.
Wife: I owe you an apology. You deserve better, a man as good as you are to me and my son.
Husband: Actually. I am a woman.
Wife: (Leaning closer and squinting eyes) A woman?
Husband: Yes. I'm sorry. When you asked me out I didn't have the heart to tell you I wasn't a lesbian and then after a few dates, well, there just isn't a good time to say, "We have to talk. I'm not a man." Hope you aren't angry.
Wife: No, not at all. I understand. To be totally honest, if I may--
Husband: Of, course.
Wife: I am--I don't really know how to put this--I am a gas powered weed eater. I didn't know how to tell you. Our courtship was so dizzying--I just got carried away forgot to say anything. Mad?
Husband: Oh, honey, of course not. I should have realized--you have such a petite figure. And you do love to spend Summer afternoons face- down in the long grass by the fence. And to think, all these years, I thought you were having an affair with the gardener.
Wife: I am.
Wife: (Looking at HUSBAND from the couch) It was a smoothie maker, dear.
Husband: Oh, right. (Looking back down) Smoothie.
Wife: (Tentatively) And--
Husband: What?
Wife: I'm sorry. I feel a little embarrassed about this, but his name is Charles.
Husband: Uncle Jacob?
Wife: Is Uncle Charles.
Husband: Charles Jacob?
Wife: No.
Husband: Jacob Charles?
Wife: No.
Husband: (Hand to forehead, perplexed) Wow. I feel like a real fool. I've been calling him the wrong name for eight--.
Wife: Six.
Husband: --years. No-one said anything.
Wife: I just didn't have the heart to correct you the first time you did it. It was Christmas--
Husband: Easter.
Wife: --and everyone was around and I didn't want to make you look like a fool. You were so nervous around the new family that first Christmas.
Husband: Easter.
Wife: After that there just wasn't a good time really to do it. I am sorry I never said anything.
Husband: Oh, you don't have to apologize. I'm the goof here. It's just that you have so many uncles --
Wife: Actually--I only have one. Uncle Louis.
Husband: But, Uncle Jacob?
Wife: Is second Cousin Charles.
Husband: Second cousin?
Wife: By marriage.
Husband: Second cousin by marriage? Is that even a real legal status?
Wife: I don't know. You can look it up tomorrow at the office.
Husband: The office? Oh, right. Well, actually--
Wife: What? Doesn't the firm have a Black's Law Dictionary or something?
Husband: I don't work at a law firm. I'm not a lawyer. I know you think that and really it was easier than trying to explain exactly what I do. You know the nuanced differences.
Wife: What do you do?
Husband: I service the Wiggler at the amusement park.
Wife: Oh.
Husband: Sorry. (Turns back to THANK YOU note)
Wife: You still had a fun birthday though, right?
Husband: Well--
Wife: (With disappointment) I didn't think you would want to spend it with my family.
Husband: No, it isn't that. I love your family. It's just that my birthday is not in August. It's April. April 4th.
Wife: Oh?
Husband: You got me that great stereo--
Wife: VCR
Husband: --when we first started dating and I didn't have the heart to tell you that my birthday was four months--
Wife: Eight.
Husband: --away. I'm sorry. (Rising to embrace her on the couch) I shouldn't have let it go so long.
Wife: No, no. It's fine. We've all done those sorts of things.
Husband: Right. The important thing is we have a blender--
Wife: Smoothie maker.
Husband: --that we can use to make our own baby food once the baby comes.
Wife: Oh, about that.
Husband: What is it?
Wife: I'm not--oh this is a little embarrassing--I'm not pregnant.
Husband: (Putting hand on her stomach) Oh, but--
Wife: Yeah. I have an eighteen year old son from a previous marriage. (Lifts maternity dress to reveal full-grown eighteen year old male clinging around waist, listening to walkman. He is covered in acne and frowns disapprovingly at HUSBAND)
Husband: Oh, wow. I never noticed him before. I don't know what to say.
Wife: I owe you an apology. You deserve better, a man as good as you are to me and my son.
Husband: Actually. I am a woman.
Wife: (Leaning closer and squinting eyes) A woman?
Husband: Yes. I'm sorry. When you asked me out I didn't have the heart to tell you I wasn't a lesbian and then after a few dates, well, there just isn't a good time to say, "We have to talk. I'm not a man." Hope you aren't angry.
Wife: No, not at all. I understand. To be totally honest, if I may--
Husband: Of, course.
Wife: I am--I don't really know how to put this--I am a gas powered weed eater. I didn't know how to tell you. Our courtship was so dizzying--I just got carried away forgot to say anything. Mad?
Husband: Oh, honey, of course not. I should have realized--you have such a petite figure. And you do love to spend Summer afternoons face- down in the long grass by the fence. And to think, all these years, I thought you were having an affair with the gardener.
Wife: I am.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Y'all are slack.
Somebody else needs to put something up on this thing. I know you have "jobs", but please. I realize Biggs and Finn have been out of town, but they get back today. Welcome back. We expect a full chronicle or your travels.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
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