In honor of next week's release of "Crazy Crazy For Feeling," ToF contributors RIKK and Stingy did a little review of the album via the wonders of today's technology.
Rikk sits alone on a couch in Pleasantville, N.Y., as The History Channel plays an “American Pickers” marathon in the background. He fiddles with an iPad’s Face Time app, grumbling inaudibly while chewing his lower lip. A dog stands next to the couch, tail wagging, eyes fixed on Rikk’s hands, hoping for a treat.
Rikk: (grumbling)
Dog: (panting)
Rikk: System preferences? Wait, how many wifi networks are in this building?
Dog: (panting)
(A call pops up on Rikk’s screen. Stingy is calling via Face Time)
Rikk (answering call): Well they call him Stingy cause he’s so damn frugal/He speaks in rhymes archived on Google…..
Stingy: ‘Sup.
Rikk: You know, it’s a Sunday, I’m just kickin’ it solo style. The fam is out for a walk. How you livin’?
Stingy: I got my boys doing pushups and planks while I’m chillin’ like Shabba Ranks/watchin’ Chicago runnin’ backs tearin’ through the line like Tom Hanks/as Forrest Gump/I keep Doritos Locos Tacos in the back of the trunk --
Rikk: ok, stop there. You had me at Shabba Ranks.
Stingy: I still have the rest of that verse to spit.
Rikk: Well, record that shit and send it to Finn, so he can keep reliving his mid-to-late twenties with some Hackey Sac Crue Fantasy League shit.
Stingy: I did send him one verse for that posse cut he asked us for a while ago. Did you do anything for that?
Rikk: no, I’m a grown-ass man now. I can’t be rhyming over the Internet. I could lose my job.
Stingy: Good thing I don’t have one.
Rikk: OH, self-burn!
Stingy: Depends on how you look at it.
Rikk: You have a point there. Well, look, I’m in the middle of an “American Pickers” marathon, so let’s get this over with.
Dog: (panting)
Stingy: Aight. You listen to it?
Rikk: Yeah, most of it. There were some jams I sort of skimmed over after the 4th minute of guitar soloing. Seems like they really went Bob Wall as far as the shredding goes.
Stingy: Oh, man, those long jams are the best part. Like some Amon Duul shit. That “Sunset Credits” jam is pretty epic.
Rikk: Which one is that?
Stingy: The instrumental.
Rikk: Which one is that? Half the album is instrumental!
Stingy: Well, not really. There’s only 3. But it’s the long jam that has like a “Champagne Supernova” kind of ending.
Rikk: Oh, so it’s not that country song toward the end. I kinda liked that one, but it felt like it needed some vocals.
Stingy: Maybe you can ask them to play it at the Pinhook show and then you and I can rap over it.
Rikk: A Lady Western/armed like Charlton Heston/more innocent than these rhymes I be molestin’/open the oven and i’m slidin’ some chicken breasts in/for lunch
Stingy: That’s some advanced style.
Rikk: And it make you smile/Longer than a crocodile’s nails up on the Nile/Rodgers … like I’m Daft Punk/original funk make you wanna jump jump jump
Stingy: Questionable.
Rikk: You gonna bring your boys to the Pinhook show? Doesn’t Finn have some children’s movie about troll jazz he’s planning to screen?
Stingy: They’re not old enough to get in, plus they’re on a pretty tight sleep schedule as part of their preschool Duke basketball fast-track training regimen.
Rikk: You gotta be joking.
Stingy: No, it’s like this like for Duke alum kids -- Coach K has this program where you can sign your kids up for a lifetime of training camp as soon as they are born. How do you think he got multiple Plumlee kids on the same team? I’m seeing a Stingewell dynasty in about 16 years.
Dog: (panting)
Rikk: That seems like a stretch. Will Duke even have a chance at that point? Who is going to take over after Coach K?
Stingy: Maybe Wojo.
Rikk: Well they call him Wojciehowski/He’s got a unspellable name like Krystof Krozlowsky/I just made that shit up like The Big Lebowski’s rug/Cause it tied the rhyme together/Me and Stingwell like birds of a feather/Spittin’ our review of the Audubon Park/My favorite track was dark like chocolate….that one at the end is a pretty good jam, actually.
Stingy: Get To Know Your Grave?
Rikk: I think that’s the one, yeah. Sounds like a vintage Swervedriver track.
Stingy: It’s got a pretty epic ending, with all that soloing.
Rikk: And while we’re on the ‘90s, what is up with that “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness” outtake piano jam?
Stingy: “Our Back Stairs”?
Rikk: Yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love me some Smashing Pumpkins. I was in that concert video they shot on the “Siamese Dream” tour!
Stingy: Yeah, I think you mentioned that before. Where was that?
Rikk: Atlanta. COLLEGE RIKK!
Stingy: I thought you went to UNC.
Rikk: You thought right.
Stingy: So was this like a road trip to Atlanta? I was in Atlanta once.
Rikk: Let’s not get bogged down in the details.
Stingy: Biggs likes the Pumpkins. That mellotron sound he got is nice.
Rikk: Well, from the notes I saw about the recording, it looks like that song was recorded in Virginia and Brooklyn, so I’m guessing that fake mellotron sound was from Finn. Plus, that melody is way too pedestrian to be from Robert.
Stingy: Well, either way, it’s pretty nice.
Rikk: (panting)
Dog: I do like the contrast that comes with that song, since it is sandwiched by a 4-minute guitar solo and a pop song that sounds like Guided By Voices as played by The Melvins. There really is quite a bit of variety in this LP.
Stingy: Wait, who’s that?
Dog: I am the Ghost of Christmas Present Perfect.
Stingy: Oh. So will there be a Counting Crows box set this Christmas?
Dog: Would that make you happy?
Stingy: Yeah, you know, like one of those longboxes like the Aerosmith “Pandora’s Box” that came out in the 90s, with outtakes and b-sides and liner notes written by someone like David Austin Green.
Rikk: You’re not even old enough to remember “Pandora’s Box,” Stingy.
Stingy: You know, Audubon Park should do a Kickstarter for their own box set. At this point they have enough material.
(Rikk’s phone buzzes)
Rikk: Who’s textin’ me? Oh, shocker -- it’s another photo of a dog from Finn.
Dog: Let me see.
Rikk: Here. Looks like a whippet or some shit.
Dog: Nice.
Stingy: So are you doing a solo Erie Choir set at the Pinhook?
Rikk: No, gettin’ the band back together!
Stingy: Got any new stuff?
Rikk: We might cover that last Le Weekend album.
Stingy: Is it really a cover if Bob is in both bands?
Rikk: Oh, Bob wouldn’t play on it. He’d be more of a consultant, you know, getting the tone, inflection, timbre right.
Stingy: We should do a Hackey Sac Crue reunion! Or StingeBiggs!
Rikk: I would pay for a StingeBiggs show. I never got to see the original.
Stingy: Timeless.
Rikk: Did you guys do that Primitive Radio Gods song?
Stingy: No, but I’ll definitely put that on the list. I’m sure Biggs would be down for that.
Rikk: Robert at this point would probably insist that you guys do a bunch of Janet Jackson songs.
Stingy: “That’s the Way Love Goes.”
Rikk: Yeah, that era. I can see that being pretty awesome on acoustic guitar with you singing.
Stingy: You know me. Steady tippin’ on those hoes.
Rikk: I don’t know what you are referencing.
Dog: Me neither.
Stingy: I gotta go, the Panthers game is about to start and I need to set the boys up with their Google Glasses so I can make sure they are watching the right parts of the game.
Rikk: Alright, cool. I’m gonna get back to this “American Pickers” marathon and then finish this book about Alexis de Tocqueville.
Stingy: Who is that?
Rikk: Ask Robert. I think he’s one of those German shuffle dudes.
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