Thursday, January 22, 2009

(----) In Russia Vol.12

You know you're (back) in Russia when you have this picture of Yury Luzhkov, the mayor of Moscow, having his taint massaged on your refrigerator.

This is an ad on the window of a Rostix-KFC, a fried-chicken chain in Moscow, inviting people from "17 to 60" to come work with them. Notice how this young man's demeanor changes because of his status as a gainfully employed chicken slinger; his world used to be black-and-white while his self-confidence left something to be desired (the photo on the left says, "Before work at Rostix-KFC"), but a few months later (middle photo) the added bonus of a uniform and a bright yellow existence sees a smile creeping into that sallow visage. "Today" (right photo), he's happy as a clam, safe in the knowledge that he's got "flexible hours" and a "happy team of friends" at his greasy, mayonaise-smelling job.

Those after-Christmas sales apparently spread into January in Russia, which apparently means that all those leftover, incredibly strugglin' Christmas trees that didn't sell the first time round are now being sold at INSANE PRICES!!!!!!!!!!

The snow problem is one that starts out beautifully, blanketing the normally filthy city in white, and ends up turning into either frozen brown ice or slushy brown mud. Pictured above is a sidewalk that is too frozen to walk on, so passers-by have created a path in the actual snow.

This path is not immune to freezing, but this isn't stopping this woman from owning it in these high-heeled boots. She did a better job than I did of making her way across the surface.



Aftermath. A passport was lost (not mine) and then found in the cupboard a day later, tucked behind the pasta strainer. A roommate was removed from the club after attempting to grab the microphone off the stage as the band was packing up. A day was spent recovering.

This motorcycle was outside a bar, and as this man ran to catch up with his friends, he hopped on and encouraged me to get his photo.

DJ at a restaurant. For some reason, "Rugrats" is playing on the screen behind him.

Our waiter at the same restaurant could not stop dancing.

I'll leave you with this clip of Russian rapper Vitya AK-47 kickin' it live in the studio until he realizes his homies are filming. Afisha, a popular entertainment magazine in Moscow, refers to Vitya as Russia's answer to Lil' Wayne. I mean, someone's gotta respond to that guy.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Here's Jowling at You, Kids

Jowl to the left.

Jowl to the right.

Jowl like the dead.

Jowl like Jowlhard Richter

Jowl like you're married.

Jowl like it's your last night in town.

Jowl like you're skeptical this might end up on Facebook.