Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Thoughts on a Tuesday

1) Spoons should only be used for breakfast foods. There is no reason for spoons to be used at other meals. I don't care about soup. That isn't my problem. You figure it out. In fact, spoons are the only tool that should be used at breakfast--no more forks or knives. If it doesn't work with a spoon it isn't breakfast.

2) I'm not wild about Orange as a color, especially dark Orange. I think we can do better. In my memory, everything is painted seafoam green, but I bet there was some Orange somewhere. I am pretty sure the carpet in my parents kitchen, before they divorced, was Orange. I don't know what color it was after the divorce. I don't know why we had carpet in a kitchen. There was also floral wallpaper in my parents' room. They started to tear it down so they could put something less disgusting up, but they stopped half way because there wasn't any need to finish.

3) Same with Fuscia. Did I spell that right? I don't care--it isn't a real color and doesn't deserve letters in any particular order.

4) I was walking up the hill to school on Sunday and crossed the road, but when I got halfway across I saw that there was a whole dead deer laying on the sidewalk on the otherside. I am glad I noticed it because if I'd gotten too close to it I am sure I would have caught the milk-sickness. Recently I had the norovirus and a kind of strep culture that doesn't cause strep throat. I am pretty sure now my immune system is so strong that I could cure people just by walking past them in the mall.

5) I was in a restaurant on Saturday night, getting a to-go order of food--so I could eat in the Nightlight--and there were two men, in their 40's/50's next to me. They really wanted to get UNC-Duke tickets. They were drunk and obnoxious. They kept stopping the waitress working the bar, where I was waiting to place my to-go order, and asking her to get the manager to call the owner to knows some guy he knows who scalps tickets. They talked loudly about how expensive the tickets were. They just wouldn't let it go and all I wanted to do was eat. I had a ticket, a student ticket to the game, and I seriously considered turning to them and saying, "Hey, I heard you all talking. I have a ticket I don't need" and giving it to them. They would think that I was a great person but I would know that they wouldn't be able to get into the game since it was a student ticket. I just wanted them to shut up with the waitress so I could get some food. I was so hungry. I did not give them the ticket, or talk to them, though I did glare when they were looking away from me.

Later, I did give my ticket to a guy I am in school with, and as far as I know, he had a good time.

6) I just threw away my spoon, but I wasn't done with it yet. Now I have no spoon to eat my yogurt with. What am I to do. Live-blogging sorrow.

7) The top of the yogurt container, fashioned into a scooping device is the second tool allowed to eat breakfast with. No others. Not even cups. If you can't drink it out of a spoon or a yogurt top fashioned into a scooping device, you can't use it.

8) When I was a young man, about eleven years old, I would get really depressed every Sunday. I was depressed because the weekend was over and therefore the opportunities that week for me to have an exciting adventure or to meet a girl who loved me were over. I don't know why I got depressed. The only time I ever actually did anything with anyone was during the week--I spent the weekends alone. I remember one time, the depression was extra bad because I realized that Hayley Mills wasn't my age, but was in factmy mother's age and at that point much older than I was.

At the time, my family lived in a house that backed up to the drive in. Though there were trees, I could see little bits of the screen, and could hear all of the personal-car-speakers. I would open my window at night and sit with my telescope, trying to make out what was going on. They showed mostly sub-Sleepaway Camp style slasher movies, so the evening air was filled with the buzzing of chainsaws and sheiks of horror.

I never saw anything good, but I didn't really know how to work the telescoope either so, what was I expecting?

9) If a yogurt top scoop does not work, it is permissible to root around in the staff (not faculty) breakroom for another eating tool--preferably a spoon, but if not available, a fork, if it is clear plastic and not metal. No metal forks. Ever.

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