Saturday, March 03, 2007

Those talented Roehrigs....

Ladies and gentlemen, please take the time to support RIKK's long-lost cousin Caleb Roehrig in the absolutely top-notch production of a very serious film, "Scarecrow Gone Wild".

NOTE: Caleb does not play this particular scarecrow in this particular poster, even though he is possessed by the soul of a scarecrow. In fact, this particular pictured scarecrow is not in the movie; neither, for that matter, is the semi-hot chick behind him. Nor is the circus in the background, and, come to think of it, neither are any of the fonts utilized on this poster.

A few reviews from Netflix viewers who actually took the time to put this in their queue (which obviously takes more effort than actually spending time at Blockbuster and passing up not one, but TWO horror movies about Sasquatch


and "Clawed: The Legend of Sasquatch"] before settling on said scarecrow flick):
--"A straight to video horror disaster. The cast seems to have had some fun filming this which helps, but it's still pretty bad. The ending is lifted straight from the Freddy Vs Jason flick & is very silly & badly executed. The cast are all very attractive people to look at, but overall this is a bad b-movie in the not so bad its good sense."
(ed. note: no one in the movie is remotely attractive.)

--"I kept seeing this DVD at Wal-Mart (yeah, King B Man shops at WallyWorld) I came pretty close to buying this film, but decided to rent it instead. You know you are in trouble when Ken Shamrock turns in the best performance in this film. This movie is made for people who actually pay-per-viewed such cinematic crap as Bikini Island instead of waiting for the title to appear on late night Cinemax. Gee I wonder who would do that?"
(ed. note: this is quite possibly Stingy's review.)

--"This was the worst movie I have ever seen. The movie went from the corn field to the beach. What the heck was the scarecrow doing at the beach. And he could swim. The sound effects sucked and it combined too many other movie ideas. It was REALLY bad. Any other movie is better than this."
(ed. note: the instantaneous cornfield-to-beach transition, which occasionally meanders into cornfield-to-beach-to-forest territory, is quite geographically impossible in most of North America, isn't it?)

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