Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Profiles in Hypeness: Day Two

Sorry About Dresden: Wives and Babies and Shit

Mr. Oberst: I remember my favorite teacher. He smelled like beer.

FACTS! Sire of a brood of 12 (give or take a few), Mr. Oberst is best known as the father of John O, the world reknown harpist, cornerback (for Oklahoma St.) and PBS carpentry guru. Began own school for slightly less gifted children called St. Ehh, MBA Prep School. His first volume of short stories, "Tough Being Catholic," sold well and enabled him to have more children. The only person present at Sammy Hagar's deathbed--in Destin, FL--only he really knows what happened that night and what the Satin Knights final words were. Only Mr. Oberst was there to daub the globules of sweat from the tormented brow with a old red towel.

Be proud of that towel boy, be proud!


Entry for Eric Louis Roehrig on the IMDB:

1) Crazy About Velvet (2010) Ceaser O'Malley
2) 1,000,000,000,000 Roses and a Dog Named Tuggles (2010) Shop Owner
3) AFI Salutes Everyone That Has Worked With Eric Roehrig (2009) Himself/Evil Twin
4) "ER" (1994-?) Gen. Lucius O'Leary
5) Two Gallants (2008) Shop Owner
6) "The Billy Corrigan Story" (2007) Elvis Costello/Shop Owner
7) "Blind Date" (1999-?) Host
8) Weiland III: ResErection (2006) Carwin
9) New Jack City II (2005) Himself
10) Weiland (2004) Carwin
11) Japan by Night (2003) Jackie O'Fenway
12) Making of Revenge of the Sith (2002) Shop Owner
13) Smashing Pumpkins: Veiwphoria (1994) Himself


J. Roosevelt Helper:

I'm never lonely with MY BUDDY

I'm never lonely with My Buddy. (Award for the best photoshopping of this picture to be awarded at the show.)

Andrew McGowan: Little is known about this mysterious man from a mysterious place, and by little I mean more than I am willing to tell you, understand me. No, you don't. You and your family never could. You never could see past your tiny eyes and voracious greed, see deep into my heart and know that I only wanted the best for those prawns. The best for those startelingly large and well dressed prawns. And now what do we have? Nothing. Except for a government that is run by well-dressed and articulate prawns that listen to the people and give them what they want within reason taking into acount the needs of the oppressed and the desires of the unheard. Thanks, to you and your disgusting family. Put yourself in my shoes someday and walk around the block and then come back because I don't want you to take my shoes and then see if you can judge me the way I have you.

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