Monday, October 31, 2005
2005-2006 College Basketball Season Preview
Megalodon shooting guard Fin Dophin
Tropic of Food Conference Predictions by Danny Binge & Ricky Fudge
1. Hotel Motel- Hot! Mot! Hot! Mot! Hot! Mot! That’s about all you can say about this unstoppable assemblage of sports persons. Yes, that’s right, we are predicting they will go from worst to first. You heard it hear first.
2. The Wusses – Some critics have accused Coach Alabaster’s team of playing soft. “Yeah, duh!” was his response. Clearly the deepest team in the league, if not the smoothest.
3. Audubon Park- Coach Nahm has his hand full with this lot. Would be ranked higher if they practiced more instead of watching movies about giant prehistoric sharks.
4. Cantwell Gomez and Jordan – Their free flowing offense is hard to stop. And one of them is named Jordan y’all!
5. America’s Next Top Models- Is this team for real? Seriously, I haven’t seen them yet. Joyce plays Ric’s ole Mustang, so they got that going for ‘em.
6. The Nein - Es geht am Ball zum Spieler vorbei. Er führt die deutsche Autobahn hinunter, einzukerben. Wer kann Tal Flattum schützen? Wer kann Robert Biggers berühren? Wie ein schöner Vogel in majestätischem Flug. Detlef Schrempf !
7. Jamiroquai - Wer hat das obene ueber The Nein gescrieben? Das ist doch wirklich Deutsch. Kann Roehrig Deutch? Habe ich aber nicht gewusst!
8. Erie Choir - After finishing second last year to Toby Keith in the Tropic of Country league, it will be tough for the Choir to adjust to their new home in the Food Conference.
9. Megalodon - Coach BOAZ has his hands full with this lot. Would be ranked higher if he didn’t spend his time making movies to be watched by Audubon Park. Lookout for freshmen sensation Hammerhead Shark dude.
10. Karl Rove - Can’t nobody guard Turdblossom’s team. They just spread rumors you’re gay or insane and you get booed off the court and people think you’re a traitor, or at least that you’re gay. Even still, they will be among the bottom half of the league.
11. Clemson – Despite playing against a bunch of out of shape indie rockers, they are once again picked to finish near the bottom of the league.
12. Hackey Sack Crue - Will be another tough rebuilding year for the crue. Word to the wise: fellas, the game is BASKETBALL, not stupiding. The sooner you learn it, the sooner you challenge for a conference crown.