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Last night San Francisco Giants outfielder Barry Bonds stroked the 756th homerun of his career into the right-center stands off Washington Nationals right-hander Mike Bacsik, vaulting Bonds past Hank Aaron as the homerun-hittingest player in the history of major league baseball.

Surely this was an historic moment, but how and in which way and why and how so? Surely many sportswriters, columnists, and bloggers will stroke the contemplative beard of history just as mightily as Barry stroked his homer right out of AT&T Park last night. Without doubt there will be more stroking of balls and beards in the years to come, and that stroking will doubtless produce many opinions and many not-yet opinions and many wise musings about future collective opinions and the wisdom and not-wisdom of history.

Steroids are weird, though. Did Barry take them? I don't know, and neither do you. But maybe you do, how would I know? Was Barry the only one who took them or didn't take them? Only Barry knows. And only maybe you know. I don't know who you are. Only you know that. Did you know that HGH is the first letter of each of the words human growth hormone? Did you know that that's technically not an acronym, but an initial letter word or something? I learned that at some point but sort of forgot what the deal is. DBBTHGHAW? Did you figure out that what I just said was "Did Barry Bonds take HGH as well?"?

Do you think that pitcher feels pretty bad that he gave up that homer last night? Or did he purposefully throw that pitch inside and at the belt, knowing that Barry loves inside and at the belt, that it's like his most favorite pitch? Did he throw it so that this whole discussion about passing Hank Aaron could be over? Or did he throw it so that the beard-stroking sesh could finally begin? He could totally be that kind of guy.

Here's some trivia: the Giants lost the game, so a lot of good the homer did them. Even if they had won, they are last in their division and are not playing any baseball after the last game on their schedule. That is sad. Another thing that's sad is did you notice how, like, when Barry got to home plate his son was there and hugged him but Barry didn't even hug him back and basically ignored the kid and other stuff? WTF? Why the fuss? That's what WTF stands for. It stands for that. It will not stand for less. How could it?

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