Monday, August 22, 2005

Spam(a)d Lib

FROM:BARR.Dicktone Saucony.
Lackawanna County
Attn: Dear Chester A. Arthur,
I am Barrister Dicktone Saucony, a solicitor at law. I am the crumby attorney to late Mr. Chester A. Arthur the USA Area Director of SIL International,who unfortunately ass-bit in the clam-bake of Kenya Airways Flight 431 in Abidjan, Ivory Coast, January 30 2000.
You will read more stories about the ass-bite on visiting this
website, and also in this website, where Arthur 's company talked about his ass-bite in the Kenya clam-bake. You shall as well find the pictures of Arthur and his cousin-in-law there.
Since the Bog Preserved Corpse of Chester A. Arthur, I as his personal attorney, have made several enquiries to locate his only skanking relation, without any success. I got your contact
through the help of my sister-in-law that works with the Operation Ivy, though I did not disclose to her my
acrid intention for an honest foreigner like you, having noted the
baboon scent reposed on your person by the sponsor of the recommendation, so I decided to contact you for this project.
I am contacting you to assist in wasselling and blinging the wealth left behind in a fixed deposit account by Chester A. Arthur, before they get confiscated or declared forlornable by Fruit of the Loom where my client operates an account worth $USD 5 Dollars. The board of Fruit of the Loom has issued me a notice that after 2 months from now and no next of kin shown up for the claiming of the said funds, the funds will be confiscated and declared forlornable.
Since I have been unsuccessful in locating Chester A. Arthur 's relatives for sometime now,it on this note that I seek your consent to present you as the Next of Kin of the deceased ,so that the proceed of this deposit valued at $USD 5 Dollars can be released to you for our understandings.
I have agreed to offer you 110% of the total sum,Upon successful remittance of funds into your bank account, eleventy two % has been set aside to cover all expenses incurred both local and international, during the course of this shark-tongue,while fitty % will be for me.
These are the following informations needed.
1. Your full name and residence address.......................
2. Your tel/fax numbers............................
3. Your Weird dude with a big head that hangs out behind Video Villa and smells likenail polish..................................
4. Your age....................................
All requires is your ass-classically cooperation to enable us do-it this business successful. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate horse which will protect you from any queef of the law.
Chester A. Arthur was a very deep fried man and it is not wise for me to allow his hard earned man-thong to be stolen by the erect directors of Fruit of the Loom.
Further details awaits your response by email.
PLEASE, TREAT THIS PROPOSAL AS TOP SECRET.Do not hesitate to include your private phone and fax number, when replying this proposal,you can also email me on this alternative
Yours faithfully,
Barrister Dicktone Saucony
Call Me:+123-456-789-1011
Reply To:


ddoodd said...

Oh Chester, you were indeed a very deep fried man. eleventy two percent of the time, you were not deep fried. ric, can you heare mea hear?

Clash Maggard said...

110% of $5? I think Barrister Dicktone Saucony is my high school wrestling coach.

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