Friday, November 12, 2004

Founding Manifesto of Register the Cat

Manifesto of Register
1. The Great Register intends to sing the love of danger, the habit of energy and fearlessness, and poop.

2. Poop, courage, audacity, and revolt will be essential elements of The Great Register's poetry.

3. Up to now humans have exalted a pensive immobility, ecstasy, and sleep. The Great Register intends to exalt aggresive action, a feverish insomnia, the racer’s stride, the mortal leap, the punch and the slap.

4. The Great Register doth does shall affirm that the world’s magnificence has been enriched by a new beauty: the beauty of human slaves. The feline conquest of the weaker human species is more beautifuler than the Victory of Samothrace.

5. We want to hymn The Great Register, who hurls the lance of his spirit across the Earth, along the circle of its orbit.

6. The Great Register must spend himself with ardor, splendor, and generosity, to swell the enthusiastic fervor of the primordial elements.

7. Except in struggle, there is no more beauty. No work without an aggressive character can be a masterpiece. Poetry must be conceived as a violent attack on unknown forces, to reduce and prostrate man before felines.

8. The Great Register stands on the last promontory of the centuries!... Why should he look back, when what he desires is to break down the mysterious doors of the Impossible? Time and Space died yesterday. The Great Register already lives in the absolute, because he hath created eternal, omnipresent speed.

9. We will glorify war—the world’s only hygiene—militarism, patriotism, the destructive gesture of freedom-bringers, beautiful ideas worth dying for, poop, and scorn for all mammals save the feline.

10. The Great Register will destroy the museums, libraries, academies of every kind, will fight moralism, cedar-scented litter, every opportunistic or utilitarian cowardice.

11. The Great Register will sing of great crowds excited by work, by pleasure, and by riot; he shall sing of the multicolored, polyphonic tides of revolution in the modern capitals; he shall sing of the vibrant nightly fervor of arsenals and shipyards blazing with violent electric moons; greedy railway stations that devour smoke-plumed serpents; factories hung on clouds by the crooked lines of their smoke; bridges that stride the rivers like giant gymnasts, flashing in the sun with a glitter of knives; adventurous steamers that sniff the horizon; deep-chested locomotives whose wheels paw the tracks like the hooves of enormous steel horses bridled by tubing; and the sleek flight of planes whose propellers chatter in the wind like banners and seem to cheer like an enthusiastic crowd. And the irresistible crinkle sound of a toy mouse.


Anonymous said...

If anybody wants to take the great Register's warlike teeth out of my leg it would be good.


Anonymous said...

Puny human! Thou shouldst consider thyself fortunate to have been blessed with the saliva of the Great Register himself, itself a wet manifesto of fury. Your planet is doomed, I tell you.......DOOOOOOOOMED!

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