Overlost in Durham

A list of the lost and found items emailed to all the students who use this particular building:
Blue "Nortel" umbrella
Pair of women's glasses
USB thumb drive
CD-R labeled "Sikh Funeral"
Pair of headphones

I think I know who one of the items might belong to, but he's probably more concerned about finding whoever did this greenscreen cut-and-paste job on him.