Lost in Russia--The Return pt.1

To recap everything in chronological order would take forever, because this trip to Moscow was chock full of ridiculousness. It only took 5 minutes after getting off the Metro to find someone passed out on the ground, and in turn it only took 56 hours for your correspondent to come very close to being in that state, having to be prevented from climbing into a dumpster full of nails at 6am. Some highlights of the trip that will not be documented with photos below:

--A man throwing up in trash can on the street, with puddles of vomit littering the sidewalk in the surrounding blocks.
--A naked man coming to his first-floor window at 3am. He lived (or was stuck in) a building close to a fairly active nightclub. We were standing outside talking, apparently loudly enough to attract his drunken attention, so he stood on something, possibly his toilet and invited us inside to drink with him. When we said no, he then threw the bottles someone else had left on his windowsill at us.
--Being threatened with a serious asskicking twice in a one-hour period at the active club near the naked man's house. The first time, I stepped on a man's foot too many times in the extremely packed dancefloor. He put his hand on my shoulder and said in English, "My friend, if you do that again I am going to kick the shit out of you." 45 minutes later, I was apparently dancing too close to the female version of the Tasmanian Devil (meaning that she was spinning all over the club dancing too close to EVERY male there), whose extremely ugly boyfriend took me aside and basically said the same thing. At least he shook my hand when I said I understood.
--Arguing with a waitress who not only tried to scam me on the bill by charging me for a water that should have been included in my meal, but also served us a "salad" that was supposed to be "layers of vegetables" but really was just a mound of beets and mayo. She delivered the bill in a beat-up, broken, dirty, empty DVD case and then ignored me when I took issue with her scammin'. In retaliation, we considered smearing the "salad" all over the rubles we left, but instead pointed out the hair that had been found in my friend's soup.
--Getting face-controlled at a popular Moscow nightspot, meaning we were not let in while everyone else in the world was. Arguing with the doormen was another futile exercise.
--Getting yelled at by a Russian poodle who was hanging out the door of a parked car while his enormous owner sat in the driver's seat and read the paper.

Now, for the visuals:

Lost-eye view from a dancefloor, first night. Dude in the white shirt told me there were "too many faggots" at this particular place. When I suggested that he just tell them he wasn't interested, he said, "Yeah, with my fist".


String quartet in the Metro station.


Bottle of urine in the street.


Airbrushed Russian car #1. "Yes, that's right, I'd like the Swamp Thing to emerge behind the Rumple Minze girl on the DRIVER'S SIDE back door, not the passenger's."


Airbrushed Russian car #2.


Detail of airbrushed Russian car #2: note the bats on the bumper that are supposed to be accompanying the dragon in its attack on YOU.


A visit from my Russian brother Sergei.


This guy on stilts, in a gold lame outfit complete with witch's hat and angel wings. He was passing out fliers for the restaurant behind him. He was really into being photographed, and as I walked by him he started throwing gang signs and yelling, "YO YO YO!".


Detail of man on stilts. He's actually quite terrifying. I wouldn't advise hiring him for restaurant promotion.

OK, stay tuned. More tomorrow. Much more.

Royal American Live in Raleigh

Attention Chapel Hill, Durham, Raleigh, Mebane, Gibsonville, Graham, Efland, Zebulon, Fayetteville and all points in between (except Cary--continue working on those spreadsheets):

Close personal friends of Audubon Park and the Nein--ROYAL AMERICAN--are playing in Raleigh on Saturday at the Bud Light Downtown Live show. They play at 6 pm. Later on--the Romantics will be playing. WHAT? I thought they died in a van wreck. Time to stop my mourning.

RA features Clint Newman on guitar and singing. Clint went to college with Matt and me; and we were all in 1 1/2 bands together. I know that if you are reading this you are lamenting the derth of AP related activities in town--shows, passing on the street, bringing me a refill on my sweet tea--so this is your next best opportunity to see a good band in a CONTEXT.

Also, they are from New York and I am always telling my out of town friends how good we have it here, what with walking to shows, friendly people and what not. Add to that the fact that when YOU go out of town I write to my friends out of town and tell them to see you and they often do--SHOW SOME LOVE. I'm sure Cy Rawls will be there already--doesn't that just sweeten the deal?

Q: This is sponsored in part by 96Rock. Does this mean that they are getting high dollar Radio Rock Format Airplay? I would have though so before all the radio stations in the triangle switched formats from "good" to "shit."

(Not as) Lost in Turkey--Photo Appendix A

So it's 10pm, Wednesday July 11, and I got a ton of shit to do before leaving for Moscow tomorrow, but this shit is just too good to leave til next week. I mean, these make me laugh out loud, so...

I'll update you on today's goings-on in more detail later, including my simultaneously homoerotic/sketchy/totally fucking hilarious experience at the Turkish bath, but some Context Beach: today we went to the Topkapi Palace, which was the palace built by Mehmed the Conqueror in 1465. It was another example of Euro-tourism gone horribly wrong, so I focused my lens more on the patrons of this behemoth, who were way more interesting. Along the way, I found some other interesting characters:


This woman is wearing a burka in 90-degree weather with some Dior sunglasses, which have the Dior logo in fake diamonds on the side. She looks like a fucking stormtrooper. First prize in the Humorous Tourist Beach competition.


Here she is again, armed with multiple digital experience-capturing devices.


I found a group of Russian tourists being led around by a tour guide, so I followed them for a while since it was more interesting than the palace. Apparently the Captain and Tennille were with them.


(snip)


To quote the early 21st-century poet Ginuwine (born Elgin Lumpkin, for realz), "Is there/Any more room/For me/In those jeans?"


An ad in the extremely touristy area outside of the Palace. Are they retarded models?

Now for last night's photos. After ballin' at this club, located on the rooftop of an extremely swanky building in an extremely swanky neighborhood,

whose patrons included this guy,


we saw this cat, who was parking his moped:


AND NOW, the piece de resistance. Too m.f.'in good to be true.


Back in a few days, unless Moscow beats me.

(Not as) Lost in Turkey #3

(a return to last year's format, since there seems to be some demand, at least from Stingy, Crash, and DC Nahm)

ps. sorry for bumping Doodd's post down so far, please check it if you have not already seen banana hands.

7.8.07
After waking from another fitful night of jetlag sleep, I go to the Pastanesi (patisserie) across the street and get some tea and bread and read a little bit. We have a short Turkish lesson after this, and then a walking tour up to a neighborhood called Etiler, which is very affluent and cosmopolitan. There's a Starbucks, too. And a Mexican restaurant called El Torito that is, according to our professor, where everyone who's anyone goes. It looks like El Rodeo.

A short note about walking tours: it's important to distance oneself from the large herd of American girls (there are 16 students on this trip, 13 of which are girls) because the amount of attention bestowed upon our group by the eyes of Istanbul is really unsettling.

After the tour everyone heads back to the dorm to fancy up for an exclusive dinner at an exclusive restaurant on a rooftop, overlooking the Bosphorus. The restaurant is for members of the police force and their families only, so we're surrounded by cops, basically; our program coordinator, who is a Duke alumnus, is married to a Turk, the son of a police captain, which is how we get our access. There are 4 weddings going on in the building as well; at one point when I go downstairs to the restroom, one bride and groom are dancing to "Everything I Do (I Do it for You)" by Brian Adams while two enormous smoke bombs go off next to them, basically obscuring them from view.

The meal takes 4 hours, and I get introduced to raki (pronounced ruh-kuh), the Turkish national liquor. It tastes like licorice and is unbelievably strong, but it's really good. I get seabass with the head still on. Everyone in the program gets pretty tipsy as the wine and raki and beer just keep coming. It's a good experience to get to know everyone. Some photos:


Fireworks on the Bosphorus past the heads of Turkish cops, who all look like they should be on some sort of crime-buddy TV show from the 80s.


Our professor, who is Turkish, reading my fortune from my coffee grounds. Apparently a Turkish custom; after finishing one's cup of Turkish coffee, which is 25 percent sludge, you turn the cup upside down on the tiny plate and wait for the cup to cool, then read the grounds. He saw a figure reaching the top of a mountain with more mountains off in the distance.

After dinner some of us walk back to the dorm, which takes 45 minutes, but we go by the bridge to Asia and one of the Ottoman fortresses, then up the steepest hill I've ever seen, which is the only way to get back to our dorm from the shore:


Asia.


The Ottoman fortress. There are one of these on each side of the Bosphorus; the Ottomans were able to control the water this way, by stretching enormous chains across, preventing anyone from getting through.

7.9.07
Rules of Istanbul learned:
1. Always ask for a menu.
2. Don't underestimate the power of the sun.

After class we go to get bus passes and then to the largest mall in Europe. I'm not that psyched about going to a mall, but I have to exchange money and it IS the largest mall in Europe. At the food court, me and my suitemate get kebabs while we are laughed at by the entire staff of the kebab place because can't speak Turkish.


The outside of the mall--there's a fucking roller coaster inside.


The inside. I think it was 6 floors, with metal detectors at every entrance.

Afterwards we walk to Taksim, a neighborhood much like Manhattan which really isn't that interesting. Plus, the sun is unbelievably strong, and after about an hour of walking I'm close to sunstroke. Even with water, I realize it's probably a good idea to stay out of the sun during the hottest hours, because once I get home I'm wiped out for the next 6 hours.

7.10.07
Still hot. But tomorrow we go to the Spice Bazaar, the Grand Bazaar, the underground CIsterns, and the Turkish baths, where we will have to get butt naked (not a co-ed activity). And then, on Thursday, I'm off to Moscow, for a return to Lost in Russia for 4 days. I'll leave you with a view of my walk everyday to class on Bogazici campus.

Thurston?

(Not as) Lost in Turkey vol.2

Day 3.
Thus far, things have been marred by the intense case of jetlag that has been slapping me around. I didn't sleep for about 24 hours during the travel over, and I've been waking up at strange hours, unable to go back to sleep. Last night, though, I walked about 8 miles along the Bosphorus, gazing at Asia across the river, and that wore me out enough to get a lot of sleep. The part of the city I saw last night was very Euro, but also very unique. There were lots of people fishing, watching movies on their yachts, shooting BB guns at balloons floating in the water, arguing, making out, staring at me, selling jewelry, drinking next to stray dogs, etc.

After my walk I decided to get a beer and a nargileh (hookah) in the neighborhood at the bottom of the hill that we live on top of. Our neighborhood is called Hisarustu, and there's an enormously steep road that leads down to the river, and that neighborhood is called Bebek. There's a hookah bar with a huge outdoor patio in the middle of the street at the bottom of the hill, so I went there. THe only beer I could have was "Meeler", which translates in English to Miller Genuine Draft. But it came with a lemon.....

So I just sat there puffing away on apple tobacco and sipping my Meeler, listening to the absurd collection of American pop music coming from the place's speakers. Choice cuts:
--"Without Love" by the Doobie Bros
--"Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows
--"Jump Around" by House of Pain
--"Save Tonight" by Eagle-Eye Cherry (totally uncalled for)


Photos:

My feline friend who lives outside our dorm. Here he is hunting a bug in the ivy. There are cats EVERYWHERE in the city, just chillin'. Dogs too.


The bottom of the hill leading into Bebek. This street is full of gorgeous houses and apartment buildings, with mysterious dark passages covered in ivy. Not a bad place to live.


Me trying to take a picture of one of the stray cats on the street pictured above.


Up in the lab (Istanbul office).

(Not as) Lost in Turkey

We're sticking to a 'less is more' policy this year, due to some complaints from non-AP readers of Tropic of Food last summer (haterz), as well as my own admission that too much information is just too much information.

Day 2 in Istanbul...Highlights thus far:
--the Jewish-American Princess sitting next to me vomiting mid-transAtlantic flight and going into some sort of conniption fit while drooling said vomit. I was then forced to "hold" her by her father, who ran for help. This woman was at least 32 years old, so this was a bit strange. I think she was faking the convulsions since her eyes were rolling back in her head only when people weren't talking to her. I did get bumped up to "middle class" seats as a result, though.
--The Muslim call to prayer, sung live (not on tape) 5 times a day throughout the city.

Photos:
The view from my bedroom window. Note that this bike is way too big for training wheels.


Turkish ballin'. The guy on the sawbuck is Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, who founded the Republic of Turkey in 1923. Chuck Johnson warned me that his photo would be everywhere. I like how he looks like Bela Lugosi.


View of the Bosphorus Strait, which is down the hill from where our dorm is.


Even in the city of empires, some things are universal.

Friday Night in Durham

Bob Wall is knows the tone......................................................................................................
Hey y'all,

In Durham, your Friday night options are many. You could run by Target and pick up the product seen above or you come on out to Broad St. Cafe and check out Erie Choir w/The Never and Transit Union.

extra salt on the frizzle

again, the props to Crash.

Le Weekend - Sat June 30 ; Missy Thangs - Mon July 2

Someone from the above photo is scheduled to attend one of the titular shows.

Audubon Park Affiliated Entertainments (APAE) PRESENTS!

1.
Le Weekend + Mahasamatman + Minchia
@Bull City HQ
Saturday June 30 9:00pm

If someone has forgotten and wants to step, Le Weekend is allowed to post on this blog due to membership by RPBJr. and MK!, along with (the) Bob Wall, Ben Ridings, Erin Ridings. Also we are a local treasure, and are prepared not only to make audacious claims (e.g. we are doing things to music that it has always wanted done), but to claim to be able to back them up (e.g. look, an amp!).

Chuck Johnson leaves for Oakland, CA this summer so don't be a damn fool and miss your rapidly closing window to see him play. Implication: Chuck is in one of these bands.

2.
The Auspicious Debut of Missy Thangs!

The above flyer says it mostly all. Add only:
-Missy Thangs the person, who knows who that is?? But MT the BAND?
= Katherine Carpenter, Matt Kalb, Ben Ridings, Erin Ridings, Eric Roehrig, Bob Wall, Jack Watson; = layers of pop-crafted goodness, surface rewards leading to deeper ones; = Eric playing a lap steel
-The show starts at 8:30, and we are second, at 9:00.
-And oh crap, what if the image doesn't load? If so let me tell you...
Monday July 2 Local 506 8:30pm $6
Palomar . Americans in France . Missy Thangs . Milo Jones

AP in 2031....

nice solo by Kalb.

Overseen in Durham

via the Cosmic Cantina's men's restroom.

Macrochan done updated their pics

What Are My Favorite Movies?