Audubon Park is proud to be sending four delegates to the Republican National Convention.
Y'all have fun in New York.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Back to School--Volumen Uno
Wednesday, August 25:
Whereupon our fearful hero embarks into something called "Art History 167". The focus of the class seems to involve paintings of some sort by people whose first names are plural but their last names end with vowels. There was a big spider walking around on the floor, and the girl in front of me called it to my attention by turning around and looking at me with a face like she smelled something bad. For an instant I thought it might be me, but then she pointed at Mr. Arachnid, creeping across the marbleized floor towards my bag, and inevitably, to the door. He had decided that he wasn't interested in the class.
So in class I did learn a new phrase: "perspectival riddles", which of course made me think of the missed phrase "perspectival diddles". Nothing else eventful happened, other than being told we had to buy 5 books for the class, one of which (coincidence!) was written by the professor.
Looking forward, on the syllabus: "Virility and Domination", by Somebody Duncan. And then, "Cubism, Primitivism, Diddlism: the Labial Spectrum in 1919", by Benjamin Livingston Spiker.
Whereupon our fearful hero embarks into something called "Art History 167". The focus of the class seems to involve paintings of some sort by people whose first names are plural but their last names end with vowels. There was a big spider walking around on the floor, and the girl in front of me called it to my attention by turning around and looking at me with a face like she smelled something bad. For an instant I thought it might be me, but then she pointed at Mr. Arachnid, creeping across the marbleized floor towards my bag, and inevitably, to the door. He had decided that he wasn't interested in the class.
So in class I did learn a new phrase: "perspectival riddles", which of course made me think of the missed phrase "perspectival diddles". Nothing else eventful happened, other than being told we had to buy 5 books for the class, one of which (coincidence!) was written by the professor.
Looking forward, on the syllabus: "Virility and Domination", by Somebody Duncan. And then, "Cubism, Primitivism, Diddlism: the Labial Spectrum in 1919", by Benjamin Livingston Spiker.
A word from our sponsors
Audubon Park Members for Truth
Robert: I know Ben Spiker. He can't be trusted. When the shit goes down, he goes to shit.
Finn: I know Ben Spiker and you can trust him--trust him to play a bunch of drum fills over my bass solo. (begins making bass solo sounds with mouth)
Ben: I know myself and I wasn't even in the band on Chiristmas Eve. I was in Cambodia. I was the drum tech for Cheap Trick on their last tour. You can ask Ted Bedderhead.
Ted Bedderhead: I don't remember anything from that time period. And I will sign an affidavit to that effect. And really to any other effect, wait affect. Shit. I just need the money.
Matt: Why are these cameras here. Hey, put that down. That's my son.
David: I know Ben Spiker but I know Matt too and I don't know which one over plays the most. Yes I do. It's me. I do. Because I'm good. Have you seen my Squire. It rules. Spell that with a Z. Zules. Oh, wait.
'Ric: I'm not in the band but I wouldn't trust anyone in Audubon Park for anything except to not tune my guitars and to not not eat my Burrito Mejor from Carrburitos while I'm in the can having the "Roehrig World Cup."
Verrie: I don't know anyone in the band but one time I saw a cat and then I saw a paper bag and then someone called me the other day. Then I took a nap. The next day I woke up and there was a letter on my pillow dated 1868. Weird.
Robert: How come noone said they knew me?
Finn: I'll know you if you know me.
Robert: I know you will. I've been to Rhode Island with you.
Matt: Audubon Park, what a bunch of sick jerks.
AUDUBON PARK: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TRUST THEM TO PLAY MUSIC AND EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN OR NOT GET YOU TERRORIZED? I DON'T THINK SO.
paid for by Grammy Nods for Jesse Helms, INC.
Robert: I know Ben Spiker. He can't be trusted. When the shit goes down, he goes to shit.
Finn: I know Ben Spiker and you can trust him--trust him to play a bunch of drum fills over my bass solo. (begins making bass solo sounds with mouth)
Ben: I know myself and I wasn't even in the band on Chiristmas Eve. I was in Cambodia. I was the drum tech for Cheap Trick on their last tour. You can ask Ted Bedderhead.
Ted Bedderhead: I don't remember anything from that time period. And I will sign an affidavit to that effect. And really to any other effect, wait affect. Shit. I just need the money.
Matt: Why are these cameras here. Hey, put that down. That's my son.
David: I know Ben Spiker but I know Matt too and I don't know which one over plays the most. Yes I do. It's me. I do. Because I'm good. Have you seen my Squire. It rules. Spell that with a Z. Zules. Oh, wait.
'Ric: I'm not in the band but I wouldn't trust anyone in Audubon Park for anything except to not tune my guitars and to not not eat my Burrito Mejor from Carrburitos while I'm in the can having the "Roehrig World Cup."
Verrie: I don't know anyone in the band but one time I saw a cat and then I saw a paper bag and then someone called me the other day. Then I took a nap. The next day I woke up and there was a letter on my pillow dated 1868. Weird.
Robert: How come noone said they knew me?
Finn: I'll know you if you know me.
Robert: I know you will. I've been to Rhode Island with you.
Matt: Audubon Park, what a bunch of sick jerks.
AUDUBON PARK: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TRUST THEM TO PLAY MUSIC AND EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN OR NOT GET YOU TERRORIZED? I DON'T THINK SO.
paid for by Grammy Nods for Jesse Helms, INC.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Thursday, August 19, 2004
This picture
This is one of those pictures that has such a story to tell, illustrates so much, and yet I don't quite know what to say about it. I guess the title of it would be, simply, "History."
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Jim O and the Dream Quest of the Unknown Kadath
Jim O'Rourke FanFic submission ONE.
From St. John Peeps, Pleasant Hill, KY:
Antonio Lemon was dead. That was obvious. His eyes were closed and he was laying down. But why did he die? That is what Jim O'Rourke pondered as he paced the empty--well, except for a corpse--apartment. And there were some empty bean cans and a small sofa--but it wasn't very nice. More or less empty to empty-ish. Devoid of anything good.
So Jim left.
He though back to how the day had begun. His alarm ringing. Then he opened his eyes and realized his alarm wasn't ringing. His room was full of bees! Run Jim. And he did.
From St. John Peeps, Pleasant Hill, KY:
Antonio Lemon was dead. That was obvious. His eyes were closed and he was laying down. But why did he die? That is what Jim O'Rourke pondered as he paced the empty--well, except for a corpse--apartment. And there were some empty bean cans and a small sofa--but it wasn't very nice. More or less empty to empty-ish. Devoid of anything good.
So Jim left.
He though back to how the day had begun. His alarm ringing. Then he opened his eyes and realized his alarm wasn't ringing. His room was full of bees! Run Jim. And he did.
After running all morning--in boxer shorts only (Charles Ives print [on sale at TARGET]) Jim stopped by his friend Antonio Lemon's house to pick up something to wear and wonder who could have put bees in his room. Unfortunatley his wondering was cut short when he found his friend DEAD.
After Jim finished putting on his clothes and thought about his day he decided that he needed to figure out who had killed Antonio Lemon--if indeed he was dead--and who put bees in his room--if indeed it was his room. Nothing could be certain at this point.
Jim finished the last can of beans and left Antonio's apartment. In the dark scary hall, full of ambiance and cirumambiance and fog stood a strange man--one who could know everything he needed to know about Antonio, the bees and the fog in the hall. That is, if he doesn't kill Jim first
Tune in tomorrow for the continuation of this thrilling story. And Submit your Jim O'Rourke FanFic today!
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Sorrow
- Saddest blog. Or. Or. Or.
- We miss GO! Go is where more than one member of the administration of the Tropic of Food made love for the first time and by "make love" we mean "practice" and by "GO!" we mean "Robert's house" and by "first time" we mean "second time."
- SATURDAY, AUGUST 21st: AUDUBON PARK, POLYNYA, MOWING LAWNS. The Nightlight. 10pm. Be there and while there is a there love the place. Polynya is lo-kee space funk of the highest order. In a gleeming castle of steel in the sky a nameless creature is getting down to the air they move. Mowing Lawns are equal to or greater than all of nature added together. Folk metal? Is it possible? Yes it is and it is needed because America is in trouble. Audubon Park is celebrating our second annual being left out of the Indy Sounds Local. Big ups to the AP. Keep Reachin'!
- ToF would like to congradulate the US Men's Gymnastic team. Men's gymnastics is the highest form of physical expression that there is. Women's gymnastics is too. It is a tie. Two gold medals from my mind!
- Thursday Night is Sonic Youth night at the Cat's Cradle. Please send your Jim O'Rourke FanFic to audubonpark AT hotmail DOT com. Why did I type it like that? I saw it on the internet.
- We need more FanFic!
Admin.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
THIS JUST IN!!!!!!
From Pitchforkmedia.com:
"The kings of crunk meet the kings of the button-down: at a press conference this morning, TVT Records announced that it will release a remixed ep by North Carolina witmeisters Audubon Park, with the remixing done by one Lil' Jon (minus the Eastside Boyz). The ep will be titled 'Crunkshanks on the Island of Mixed Diddles', and the tracklist is as follows:
1. Tonight! Your Booty & My Face
2. Go Shake That Ass, You Lazy B----
3. Trunk Full of Junk
4. Da Old Hizzy
Park frontman David Nahm explains how this ill collaboration came to fruition: 'Early this summer, we were playing at the MTV Beach House; Lil' Jon approached me after the set and said, "YAY-UH! MINE FRONK INNA BIG STYLE! 2GETHER WE MONKA MONKA MONKA! CRUNKSHANKS?". I agreed, seeing as how I've always felt that way about our music, and the band discussed it at length, since we were concerned about how our fans would feel about being associated with such, um, teeth. But when we actually heard the remixes it was kind of a no-brainer...I mean, he just took my vocal tracks and sampled himself smacking some girl's ass and the project was born. We're all excited about it; Ben actually got his teeth replaced with platinum after hearing Lil' Jon's drum programming."
Lil' Jon could not be bothered to comment in more than one syllable, but TVT did give some tour dates for the 'Parkers and the Eastside Boyz:
Sept 10--Myrtle Beach, SC: House of Blues (w/Lil' Flip)
Sept 11--Durham, NC: Ooh La Latte (benefit for Ms. Films, one of Lil' Jon's philanthropic foundations for 'da ladies)
Sept 12--Richmond, VA: Funyuns-Schlitz Ampitheatre (w/Switchfoot)
www.crunkshanks.com
"The kings of crunk meet the kings of the button-down: at a press conference this morning, TVT Records announced that it will release a remixed ep by North Carolina witmeisters Audubon Park, with the remixing done by one Lil' Jon (minus the Eastside Boyz). The ep will be titled 'Crunkshanks on the Island of Mixed Diddles', and the tracklist is as follows:
1. Tonight! Your Booty & My Face
2. Go Shake That Ass, You Lazy B----
3. Trunk Full of Junk
4. Da Old Hizzy
Park frontman David Nahm explains how this ill collaboration came to fruition: 'Early this summer, we were playing at the MTV Beach House; Lil' Jon approached me after the set and said, "YAY-UH! MINE FRONK INNA BIG STYLE! 2GETHER WE MONKA MONKA MONKA! CRUNKSHANKS?". I agreed, seeing as how I've always felt that way about our music, and the band discussed it at length, since we were concerned about how our fans would feel about being associated with such, um, teeth. But when we actually heard the remixes it was kind of a no-brainer...I mean, he just took my vocal tracks and sampled himself smacking some girl's ass and the project was born. We're all excited about it; Ben actually got his teeth replaced with platinum after hearing Lil' Jon's drum programming."
Lil' Jon could not be bothered to comment in more than one syllable, but TVT did give some tour dates for the 'Parkers and the Eastside Boyz:
Sept 10--Myrtle Beach, SC: House of Blues (w/Lil' Flip)
Sept 11--Durham, NC: Ooh La Latte (benefit for Ms. Films, one of Lil' Jon's philanthropic foundations for 'da ladies)
Sept 12--Richmond, VA: Funyuns-Schlitz Ampitheatre (w/Switchfoot)
www.crunkshanks.com
Monday, August 09, 2004
Is This Thing On?
On Thursday, August 12th, Tropic of Food associate David Connerley Nahm will be MCing a benefit for Internationalist Books at the Cave from 7:30-9:30. The program is called Art Obnoxious, and I think if you know David you can agree that he is truly obnoxious. Will he be funny? We can only wait and see how the ages judge him.
If you need to know more information you can contact Internationalist.
Also of note in the coming weeks:
If you need to know more information you can contact Internationalist.
Also of note in the coming weeks:
- On 8/18 Hotel Motel is playing at the Nightlight w/ The Whole World Laughing, MDUB, and JAGUARO (very good band).
- On 8/21 Audubon Park is playing at the Nightlight w/Polyna and Mowing Lawns (both very, very good bands).
- On 8/25 Erie Choir is playing at the Nightlight w/ The Ants, Billy Sugarfix (of Evil Wiener, of course v.v. good), and America, Dear
It's a late Summer Tropic of Food infestation at the Nightlight!
Thank you,
Admin.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
AUDUBON PARK FANCON 2004
Greetings my fellow Audubonese,
As one of the founding members of the Audubon Park Official Fan Club and its current secretary, I’m happy to report the events of our most recent convention held in Gonadville, Indiana.
The fine folks at the Hill Crest Inn Motel were very helpful and welcoming. The soup was very good. Sadly our scheduled keynote speakers, Robert P. Biggers (A.P. Keyboardist) and Richard Lindley Cumberbum (Nahm family official biographer) could not attend as both were detained at the Canadian border on suspicion of ferretting.
Our Fanclub President, Gordish Horton, opened the Fancon by leading us in a rounding chorus of “The loud half hour”.
Several panels were held on various subjects, including Lyric Interpretation: Bees=Imperialism?; Tone: Kalb vs. Fripp vs. Frehley; Precursers: The Hundred, V. Sirin, Pete, El Debarge; Center of the Universe: The Role of Center College; Flem: Pro vs. Con.
The annual Fancon sing along was led by Harry Hurtz and his visible hand of rectitude.
The Audubon Park Fancon is ultimately about meeting and having fun with your fellow Audubon Park fanatics:
Henry Jurdt, Band Member Look Alike Contest Winner, Matt Kalb division
The Oregon Contingent at the Banquet:
Those Wacky Floridians!
Let the dancing begin!
The Wandering Yarberlers lead us in their own festive interpretations of Audubon Park classics as well as songs by Christopher Cross, Soul II Soul and their own originals.
The Junior Friends of A.P Dance Squad
Sadly, it all had to end Sunday. Time to say goodbye to all your friends. See you next year at AUDUBON PARK FANCON 2005 in the Quad Cities, Iowa!
Thanks,
P. Myrtle Hogglesmith, Secretary, Audubon Park Official Fan Club
As one of the founding members of the Audubon Park Official Fan Club and its current secretary, I’m happy to report the events of our most recent convention held in Gonadville, Indiana.
The fine folks at the Hill Crest Inn Motel were very helpful and welcoming. The soup was very good. Sadly our scheduled keynote speakers, Robert P. Biggers (A.P. Keyboardist) and Richard Lindley Cumberbum (Nahm family official biographer) could not attend as both were detained at the Canadian border on suspicion of ferretting.
Our Fanclub President, Gordish Horton, opened the Fancon by leading us in a rounding chorus of “The loud half hour”.
Several panels were held on various subjects, including Lyric Interpretation: Bees=Imperialism?; Tone: Kalb vs. Fripp vs. Frehley; Precursers: The Hundred, V. Sirin, Pete, El Debarge; Center of the Universe: The Role of Center College; Flem: Pro vs. Con.
The annual Fancon sing along was led by Harry Hurtz and his visible hand of rectitude.
The Audubon Park Fancon is ultimately about meeting and having fun with your fellow Audubon Park fanatics:
Henry Jurdt, Band Member Look Alike Contest Winner, Matt Kalb division
The Oregon Contingent at the Banquet:
Those Wacky Floridians!
Let the dancing begin!
The Wandering Yarberlers lead us in their own festive interpretations of Audubon Park classics as well as songs by Christopher Cross, Soul II Soul and their own originals.
The Junior Friends of A.P Dance Squad
Sadly, it all had to end Sunday. Time to say goodbye to all your friends. See you next year at AUDUBON PARK FANCON 2005 in the Quad Cities, Iowa!
Thanks,
P. Myrtle Hogglesmith, Secretary, Audubon Park Official Fan Club
Return of the Kings
The TROPIC of FOOD would like to welcome The NEIN back from their tour of the NORTHEAST. Lets ask them how it was (WARNING: the material that follows is not real. Or is it? No, it isn't.):
ToF: How was this tour?
tN: Beleagured. (Sobs)
Ahh, but let's check in with alternate universe the Nein:
FoT: How was this tour?
tN: Hahaha? (Rolls in piles of alternate universe money which to be honest looks fake.) The Nein is wealthy beyond all comprehension because of this tour. No clubs screwed us. We made more than the guy working the door every night. Sometimes almost as much as 15% more.
FoT: What do you plan on doing with your new found financial security?
tN: We just custom ordered a Stretch Tour Escalade!
FoT: Oh, but it is an alternate universe stretch Escalade. It is really small. You should have ordered an alternate universe Le Car. That is a roomy l'auto.
tN: God, why have you forsaken us! (Throws arms upin a showy display. There is a lightening crash--very scary)
It is very difficult for good hard working Americans to make thier way. Let's applaud those that travel in small machines to be in dark places that smell--all for the betterment of our society. Please send all distance Reike to FC, RB and CB c/o Tropic of Food.
Coming Soon: Festival of Ninnies!
ToF: How was this tour?
tN: Beleagured. (Sobs)
Ahh, but let's check in with alternate universe the Nein:
FoT: How was this tour?
tN: Hahaha? (Rolls in piles of alternate universe money which to be honest looks fake.) The Nein is wealthy beyond all comprehension because of this tour. No clubs screwed us. We made more than the guy working the door every night. Sometimes almost as much as 15% more.
FoT: What do you plan on doing with your new found financial security?
tN: We just custom ordered a Stretch Tour Escalade!
FoT: Oh, but it is an alternate universe stretch Escalade. It is really small. You should have ordered an alternate universe Le Car. That is a roomy l'auto.
tN: God, why have you forsaken us! (Throws arms upin a showy display. There is a lightening crash--very scary)
It is very difficult for good hard working Americans to make thier way. Let's applaud those that travel in small machines to be in dark places that smell--all for the betterment of our society. Please send all distance Reike to FC, RB and CB c/o Tropic of Food.
Coming Soon: Festival of Ninnies!
Monday, August 02, 2004
Please to Welcome
The Tropic of Food welcomes the newest member of our Administrative staff:
The Mayor of Dude City
Please respect him and his decisions as we enter this important sporting season.
Admin.
The Mayor of Dude City
Please respect him and his decisions as we enter this important sporting season.
Admin.
Friday, July 30, 2004
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Razzle Week: Fourth Day
Children's undelivered letters to Razzle.
---
Tues 6 1984
Deer Mr. Razel
I like you. You are nice and have a nice sound. My dady says that you make the devls music but when I here you music I see angles. Will you make my doggy come back. He was in the yard and made a hack sound and then he is gone. My daddy said that he is ben tookt to a farm and is happy. Is my dady a liar?
Lucy W.
Zebulon, NC
---
Tues 6, 1978
Razzle is the best.
I like metal and heavey rock.
Razzle is metal and heavy rock.
I like Razzle.
Can you make Chris Schultz stop beating me up.
I would give you a dollar.
It is all I have.
Love,
Blaine Tuppance
Ft. Wayne, IN
---
(date unknown)
Dear Mr. Razzle
My mommy went away. Did you take her? Why?
Tammy
Fayetteville, NC
---
6/3/94
Dear Razzle,
I saw you all play last night at my mother and step-father's reception. I think you are great. I have never had such a good time even though I don't like my step-father and he doesn't like me. I think he is a jerk. He doesn't like good music. I am sorry you all had to play from the Lawrence Welk Ultimate Fakebook. And I am sorry about the tuxes. I was embarassed for you.
When Mr. Robb gave me that piggy back ride I have never been so happy in my life. You know, being born with out the ability to laugh and run at the same time has mean that I have lived either a happy and slow or fast and sad life. It is tragic. Shouldn't the children of America be running and laughing at the same time. Watch any commercial for medication and you can see I am gettign fucked. Please you have to help me. Nurture me in the bosom of your rock and perhaps my legs and laughter will get in concert and I can live the American Dream.
Sincerly-
Julius Hodge
---
Tues 6 1984
Deer Mr. Razel
I like you. You are nice and have a nice sound. My dady says that you make the devls music but when I here you music I see angles. Will you make my doggy come back. He was in the yard and made a hack sound and then he is gone. My daddy said that he is ben tookt to a farm and is happy. Is my dady a liar?
Lucy W.
Zebulon, NC
---
Tues 6, 1978
Razzle is the best.
I like metal and heavey rock.
Razzle is metal and heavy rock.
I like Razzle.
Can you make Chris Schultz stop beating me up.
I would give you a dollar.
It is all I have.
Love,
Blaine Tuppance
Ft. Wayne, IN
---
(date unknown)
Dear Mr. Razzle
My mommy went away. Did you take her? Why?
Tammy
Fayetteville, NC
---
6/3/94
Dear Razzle,
I saw you all play last night at my mother and step-father's reception. I think you are great. I have never had such a good time even though I don't like my step-father and he doesn't like me. I think he is a jerk. He doesn't like good music. I am sorry you all had to play from the Lawrence Welk Ultimate Fakebook. And I am sorry about the tuxes. I was embarassed for you.
When Mr. Robb gave me that piggy back ride I have never been so happy in my life. You know, being born with out the ability to laugh and run at the same time has mean that I have lived either a happy and slow or fast and sad life. It is tragic. Shouldn't the children of America be running and laughing at the same time. Watch any commercial for medication and you can see I am gettign fucked. Please you have to help me. Nurture me in the bosom of your rock and perhaps my legs and laughter will get in concert and I can live the American Dream.
Sincerly-
Julius Hodge
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Razzle Week: Day II
Excerpts of interviews with the "men" of Razzle
From Guitar Player, June 16th, 1986
GP: Tell us how you developed your awesome technical style.
Bob Wall: Well, you see first I was walking through this corn patch with this boy I knew, he went to school with me and he said he had bottle rockets and I said I wanted to see them there bottle rockets but he said you gotta come with me to my house and I said alright and we cut cross this patch of corn and there was a wild rabid possum a-comin' up on us and I hid up to the top of the tree and the possum done chased this boy clear cross tarnation and creation and he run kindly like I seen a little man dance up to the fair so I started to dance out on this branch all nice like and was cutting capers and clappin and this possum was laying this boy up good and chewing his face and the like and then I fell down and when I woke my daddy told me it was time that I mow the yard and I said but daddy, daddy, I'm on the last level of the Poltergeist video game. (Rubs baby oil on arms)
GP: Tell me about the rumor I've heard that you and Hendrix were going to collaborate before he died.
BW: Jimi's dead? Oh, God in heaven, take me now. Woman, woman! I need my liver pills and a diet cola!
---
From Good Housekeeping, June 16th, 1992
GH: How many children do you have?
Dave Cantwell: Oh, man, I don't know. Let's see. There Louis and Jane and Ander and Coletrane and Lil' Trane and Joe Champion and Texas and Phylisha and Jerusha and He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named and She-Who-Cannot-Be-Named and Lucy and Busta Trucks and Mafhouse. How many is that?
GH: And this garden? I've never seen a garden in Durham.
DC: I live in Durham? Oh, God, sweet fount of my salvation, take me now! Kerry, Kerry, call Budget, call UHaul. Get the babies and the Kitties and the fish!
---
From New York Times Sunday Magazine, June 16th, 2000
NYTSM: I'm sorry that Mr. Bjorkback couldn't be with us. What can you tell us about his expeditions?
Torch Marauder: Like shaved fox lingers
Too long before the mirror:
Bjbk hasn't written
NYTSM: Is it true that he has taken up with a previously unknown indiginous South Pacific tribe and been enthroned as their master, seer and fiscal salvation?
TM: Well, it's funny you should ask--(Television flashes on and the grimacing face of the Red Caped Rocker appears)
RCR: Bjorkback's on an island, not guarding his first editon Fantastic Fours! Why am I watching Judge Judy! (Bobby Gibbs wakes up and writes in his diary: "Diary, today I had the worst nightmare. I was running thorugh a feild of corn with a young man and we were beset by a wild oppossum, perhaps ill. The young man ran to a tree like a baby to a mother's breast and I was left to feel the cold maw surround me.")
---
From The American Journal of Law and Religion, June 16th, 2004
AJoLaR: Mr. Robb, can you comment on this week's decision as it applies to sentencing standards?
Mike Robb: ...
AJoLaR: Would such applications, if applied as broadly as you imply they might be, work against the courts?
MR: ...
AJoLaR: How will this affect Razzle?
MR: ... (Grabs 1940 D'Angelico [Excel, Sunburst, very good, OHSC, $24,000.00], hits interviewer across forhead with headstock, plays Dee)
AJoLaR: Razzle's breaking up? What the Fuck!
From Guitar Player, June 16th, 1986
GP: Tell us how you developed your awesome technical style.
Bob Wall: Well, you see first I was walking through this corn patch with this boy I knew, he went to school with me and he said he had bottle rockets and I said I wanted to see them there bottle rockets but he said you gotta come with me to my house and I said alright and we cut cross this patch of corn and there was a wild rabid possum a-comin' up on us and I hid up to the top of the tree and the possum done chased this boy clear cross tarnation and creation and he run kindly like I seen a little man dance up to the fair so I started to dance out on this branch all nice like and was cutting capers and clappin and this possum was laying this boy up good and chewing his face and the like and then I fell down and when I woke my daddy told me it was time that I mow the yard and I said but daddy, daddy, I'm on the last level of the Poltergeist video game. (Rubs baby oil on arms)
GP: Tell me about the rumor I've heard that you and Hendrix were going to collaborate before he died.
BW: Jimi's dead? Oh, God in heaven, take me now. Woman, woman! I need my liver pills and a diet cola!
---
From Good Housekeeping, June 16th, 1992
GH: How many children do you have?
Dave Cantwell: Oh, man, I don't know. Let's see. There Louis and Jane and Ander and Coletrane and Lil' Trane and Joe Champion and Texas and Phylisha and Jerusha and He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named and She-Who-Cannot-Be-Named and Lucy and Busta Trucks and Mafhouse. How many is that?
GH: And this garden? I've never seen a garden in Durham.
DC: I live in Durham? Oh, God, sweet fount of my salvation, take me now! Kerry, Kerry, call Budget, call UHaul. Get the babies and the Kitties and the fish!
---
From New York Times Sunday Magazine, June 16th, 2000
NYTSM: I'm sorry that Mr. Bjorkback couldn't be with us. What can you tell us about his expeditions?
Torch Marauder: Like shaved fox lingers
Too long before the mirror:
Bjbk hasn't written
NYTSM: Is it true that he has taken up with a previously unknown indiginous South Pacific tribe and been enthroned as their master, seer and fiscal salvation?
TM: Well, it's funny you should ask--(Television flashes on and the grimacing face of the Red Caped Rocker appears)
RCR: Bjorkback's on an island, not guarding his first editon Fantastic Fours! Why am I watching Judge Judy! (Bobby Gibbs wakes up and writes in his diary: "Diary, today I had the worst nightmare. I was running thorugh a feild of corn with a young man and we were beset by a wild oppossum, perhaps ill. The young man ran to a tree like a baby to a mother's breast and I was left to feel the cold maw surround me.")
---
From The American Journal of Law and Religion, June 16th, 2004
AJoLaR: Mr. Robb, can you comment on this week's decision as it applies to sentencing standards?
Mike Robb: ...
AJoLaR: Would such applications, if applied as broadly as you imply they might be, work against the courts?
MR: ...
AJoLaR: How will this affect Razzle?
MR: ... (Grabs 1940 D'Angelico [Excel, Sunburst, very good, OHSC, $24,000.00], hits interviewer across forhead with headstock, plays Dee)
AJoLaR: Razzle's breaking up? What the Fuck!
Monday, July 26, 2004
Good-bye Musical Absolutes
RAZZLE BREAKS UP
On Friday, July 30th, music will cease to exist in a perfect, unadulterated form. Hundreds, if not dozens, of young men and women will be left without a musical compass to direct them towards the multi-colored mount of leather and lace clad awesomness. This week the Tropic of Food salutes the MEN or RAZZLE.
How did they form?
In 1923 an expadition to the arctic circle disappeared. No one knows what happened but we do know that they discovered, deep below the ice, an ancient creature--indiscribable with the petty and paltry words that our pale language has cursed us with--and many ancient stones with untranslatable writing and pictures of strange cities of non-euclidian geometry. The exploreres were hungry and tried to cook up the ancient slumbering elder god. Inside they found the coocooned corpses of four men and a couple marshall stacks. Somewhere, over the blanched, invisible horizon, a thunderous guitarmony glided on feathery wings. Their minds snapped instantly.
History does not record how the elder god tasted.
Why are they breaking up?
Because the PATRIOT ACT is making them.
What records have they recorded?
This discography is speculative at best.
I have a record that isn't listed above that is credited to Razzle. Is it worth anything?
Though in recent years unknown Razzle records have fetched staggering sums on the musical black market (upwards of $7) I can assure you that what you have is worthless and in fact probably would cost you to get rid of so just sent it to me with a check for five dollars and a picture of you in the following poses:
Dress'd as Link from Legend of Zelda
Dress'd as Fish from Barney Miller
Dress'd as Linc from The Octavo Blanche
On Friday, July 30th, music will cease to exist in a perfect, unadulterated form. Hundreds, if not dozens, of young men and women will be left without a musical compass to direct them towards the multi-colored mount of leather and lace clad awesomness. This week the Tropic of Food salutes the MEN or RAZZLE.
How did they form?
In 1923 an expadition to the arctic circle disappeared. No one knows what happened but we do know that they discovered, deep below the ice, an ancient creature--indiscribable with the petty and paltry words that our pale language has cursed us with--and many ancient stones with untranslatable writing and pictures of strange cities of non-euclidian geometry. The exploreres were hungry and tried to cook up the ancient slumbering elder god. Inside they found the coocooned corpses of four men and a couple marshall stacks. Somewhere, over the blanched, invisible horizon, a thunderous guitarmony glided on feathery wings. Their minds snapped instantly.
History does not record how the elder god tasted.
Why are they breaking up?
Because the PATRIOT ACT is making them.
What records have they recorded?
This discography is speculative at best.
- Withered Wurms Beyond the Seventh Sun of Rhyn: Asylum Records (1976)
- Blow: Elektra (1977)
- Mexican Delimma--A Rock Fantasia: Virgin (1977)
- Vs Nantucket: Warner Bros. (1979)
- s/t: Scotti Bros (1980)
- Rings Around Heaven: Arista (1981)
- Saul Sabberday--Idiot Spy (soundtrack): Epic Classical (1982)
- Quaker Hustle: Columbia Japanese Imports (1983)
- Players, Ladies of Destruction and Me: Smithsonian Folkways (1984)
- Quintessential Nights: Sony (1985)
- s/t II: Rykodisk (1986)
- Works: Rhino Handmade (1987)
- Skanks of the Sun--A Rock Shymphony: Scholastic Records (1988)
- Cootie Moon (soundtrack): WEA (1989)
- North Durham Shuffles, Disco Release, Cupping the Breast of Destiny (reissues): Merge Records (1990)
- My Disease is Chromatic: self-released (1992)
- Tacodrome (soundtrack): EMI (1992)
- Rambling Rose (soundtrack): Universal (1992)
- Heaven is a Heavy Place for Lovers: Fiction (1993)
- Tuck Back Warriors: Def Jam (1994)
- 4 Biddin' Dance: Def American (1995)
- Cash in a Duffle Bag--a Road Diary-Live 1973-2001: American Records (1996)
- Cantwell: Sire (1997)
- Wall: Sire (1997)
- Bjorkback: Sire (1997)
- Henderson: Sire (1997)
- Blingin' in the Reign: No Limit (1999)
- 7 Song CD: self-released (2001)
- Robb: Sire (2001)
- All Those Wasted (Y)ears: Pox World Empire (2004)
I have a record that isn't listed above that is credited to Razzle. Is it worth anything?
Though in recent years unknown Razzle records have fetched staggering sums on the musical black market (upwards of $7) I can assure you that what you have is worthless and in fact probably would cost you to get rid of so just sent it to me with a check for five dollars and a picture of you in the following poses:
Dress'd as Link from Legend of Zelda
Dress'd as Fish from Barney Miller
Dress'd as Linc from The Octavo Blanche
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Because this is a blog
It only seems right that from time to time we link approvingly to another blog.
http://fafblog.blogspot.com/
There.
http://fafblog.blogspot.com/
There.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Cancel Everything
If you like pop--and you do I know--then I don't see why don't already own "Headphone Park/Cancel Everything" by Harlan.
It is only 4 dollars. If you get it and don't like it I will give you the four dollars you spent--you have nothing to lose. This is THE music of the Fall--back to school, the girl you like has been away at academic camp, all your pencils are new. A must if you like songs about drum machines, failed high school bands and the South.
I promise.
It is only 4 dollars. If you get it and don't like it I will give you the four dollars you spent--you have nothing to lose. This is THE music of the Fall--back to school, the girl you like has been away at academic camp, all your pencils are new. A must if you like songs about drum machines, failed high school bands and the South.
I promise.
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