AP FANCON 2006-Making Friends Pt. 1

Fancon has always been more about the fans than the band,
and making new friends is really what this is all about.
Pictured above, some of my new friends. -ed

AUDUBON PARK FANCON 2006 DAY TWO

Cohen is little heftier after returning from Russia.

So this morning’s session wasn’t my cup of tea. Finn Cohen gave a lengthy talk on the aesthetic demands of bass tone. He started saying something about “modulating poles” or something and then started telling stories about getting drunk in Russia and finally just busted out a bass and started soloing. It was sort of awkward for anyone involved. Most of us made our way to the lobby and the hot gossip flying around is that Ben Spiker has been thrown out of Audubon Park and replaced with Malcolm-Jamal Warner. I have mixed feelings about this to be honest. While Spiker was a good drummer, he was never much to look at.-ed

AUDUBON PARK FANCON 2006 DAY TWO

There is a contest to guess the
ingredients of the above beverage.

Apparently the gentlemen removed yesterday, actually goes by the name Stingy, and merely claims to be the bands 8th fan, though he did note he sometimes “sits in with the band.” They allowed him to set up outside the hotel and sell his homemade beverage (pictured above). -ed

AUDUBON PARK FANCON 2006 DAY TWO

Pre- or post our Color Me Badd medley? You're guess is as good as mine.

Whoa boy. Last night was crazy. Where to begin? We may have traveled through time, I’m not sure. At some point, I might have sang “Tequila Sunrise” while standing on the Applebee’s bar. The only evidence that remains is the above photograph. Luckily I still got to bed by 10, as there’s now a total of 7 people in our room. I’m sure they’ll work this out soon, but what the hell. And Lyle snores. -ED

AUDUBON PARK FANCON 2006 DAY ONE

"If you hold an ostrich egg in your hand,
you feel almost god-like!"

The afternoon session was supposed to feature Ben Spiker, drummer par excellance. He apparently couldn’t make it because he was “stuck in traffic”. Strangely, Malcolm-Jamal Warner took his place behind the podium and proceeded to offer a 20-minute sermon on the benefits of ostrich farming. Also of note, the police had to come remove this guy named “Stinkey” or something, who was claiming to be “the 8th member of Audubon Park” who was hawking some sort of homemade beverage.-ED

Audubon Park Fancon 2006 Day 1

The Knights Inn Covention Center is a lot bigger than it appears from outside.

Took a little break from the Fancon to go back to the room and nap, and discovered there were actually two more dudes in our room. I called down to the desk and they said that’s the way it was. What? At least our room is right next to Tom Bergeron. As they say, what happens in Elizabeth, stays in Elizabeth, but man, that guy is smooth. Now I'm off to hear Ben Spiker. -ed

AUDUBON PARK FANCON DAY ONE

who above has the best chance in the matt kalb look-alike contest?

Finally into the conference center. Of course, the big news this year is that Audubon Park is soon to release their debut album, “Teenage Horses”. The anticipation of the album had the fancon in a tizzy. The artwork was leaked early in the weak, and it had bears on it. What? Word on the street is that advance copies of “Teenage Houses” are generating a lot of “buzz”. The “hype” the album is generating perhaps can explain that I’ve already spotted my second celebrity here at the fancon. None other than Jumping Jack Flash star, Whoopi Goldberg. I got Lyle to pose with Tom and Whoopi. Crazy. -ed

AUDUBON PARK FANCON 2006 DAY ONE

silvia(with walkie talkie) knows all the places a person can hide stuff

Getting my badge and entering the large room full of stands and displays for the first day of the A.P. fancon is always an exciting feeling. $215 seemed a bit steep to me, but it does include the hotel room which I’m sharing with Lyle Needington, a big fan of A.P. from Spokane, WA. He seems like a pretty good dude. Anyway, I had to wait a couple hours outside the conference center as there was some sort of snafu with my badge. Not a complete loss, as I hung out with my new pal, Silvia Portersmouth, head of security, who had countless hilarious stories of frisking inmates in her old job as a prison guard. I'll report more when I get inside-ed

AUDUBON PARK FANCON 2006

(the view from my room)


Greetings fellow fans of Audubon Park. Excited to be reporting live from the AP Fancon 2006, here in lovely Elizabeth, New Jersey. The Knights Inn here was a solid choice, though the old “continental breakfast” scam is a bit played out. Luckily there’s a diner across the street. I headed over there to get something to eat, when who should I run into, none other than the guy who hosts “America’s Funniest Home Videos”. No, not Bob Saget. The new guy, Tom Bergeron. Totally nice guy. He said he’s actually a big A.P. fan and is here for the fancon. Totally sweet! -ed

Mem'reez: Miami Vice Night

Candid shots of the Miami Vice Krew kickin' it live at SOUTHPOINT MALL for a mass viewing of "Miami Vice".


Ddoodd looking kinda like a retarded Casper the Ghost, attempting to jowl while maintaining a suitably "yachty" enough visage.


Umm, we all know who this is and what he is doing. Or trying to do.


Y'all seen that new Coke commercial with them retarded walrusi?

Typee, the sad pig

Album Art Sneak Preview

I'll probably get in trouble for posting this, but I'm just so excited about the new Audubon Park LP cover art that I have to share it here. I took both of these pictures at the beach this past weekend. Okay, here goes.

The front cover:



The back cover:

ROCK LAUGH ROCK DANCE

Friday, August 11th, at the Nightlight (at 10:30pm) for your purest of enjoyments:

ON THE TAKE (featuring members of Piedmont Charisma, Manband and more)
DC NAHM (comedy of an empirical sort)
AUXILIARY HOUSE (Trekky Records Powerhouse)
DJs MOTHERSBROTHERS (What's up fellas)
DJ VIVA (What's up ladies)

Don't be ashamed.

Overseen on MySpace

It's shameful what some people will do for a lousy ringtone.

People who listen to Audubon Park likely to have sex with their cousins.

At least that's what I've concluded based on this study.

We Got 2 Pray Just 2 Make It 2Day

Um.....you gotta just scroll down this to get the full picture. The entries "Fishing With the Boys" and "The Redskins Dancers Danced Too!" are priceless. All those out of focus, tiny-pixelated photos from his Sidekick are just, magnifique.

http://mchammer.blogspot.com/

Jagshemash!!

I like you!

Lost in Russia addendum--The Lost Photos

Just uncovered.

This is a security guard in the subway, hard at work.


This one needs no explainin', but it helps to know that it is taking place on the beach.